


I Need You

by BluBerserker



Category: citrus - サブロウタ | citrus - Saburouta
Genre: Angst, Depression, Drama, F/F, Self Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-09-01 05:00:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8609746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BluBerserker/pseuds/BluBerserker
Summary: Takes place sometime after chapter 9. After Yuzu’s mom dies in an accident, she falls into a depression. Will Mei save her? TRIGGER WARNING!: Mentions of self-harm and attempted suicide.





	

**Author's Note:**

> After reading the most recent chapter I've been missing the angstiness. So I wrote some angst. WARNING!: Mentions of depression, self harm and attempted suicide.

 

It had been a month since Yuzu’s mom died in a car crash. Though Yuzu had a right to mourn her late mother’s untimely death, Mei decided that she was doing it wrong. Maybe not ‘wrong’, there is no _wrong_ way to mourn. A better word to describe it would be; unhealthy.

  
Yuzu had lost weight, it was understandable for her to have lost her appetite. But she had also become unresponsive, even to Mei. The only answer she could muster was either a slight nod or a shake of her head. She would lock herself in her mother’s room, sometimes for days. Mei would have to leave her food outside the door, but even then she would barely touch the food.

  
It didn’t help that Mei had _rejected_ her just a few days before the unfortunate accident. She told her that they should stay as sisters. The usual bright blonde that she had denied her feelings for was gone. Now, she was just an empty shell of herself. And it was _killing_ Mei. Yuzu was in a state of shock and confusion. She hadn’t even cried. It was almost as if time froze for her after she had heard the news.

  
Mei decided that she could no longer just sit back and watch Yuzu go down this self destructive path. She would have to do something and fast. But what? What could she possibly do? Hasn’t she already hurt the girl enough? Now she had to tell Yuzu to snap out of it and come back to reality.

  
__________________________________

  
**Yuzu P.O.V**

  
Yuzu looked at herself in the bathroom mirror. Her eyes, which were always full of life, were now dead. There were dark circles under her emotionless eyes, her cheekbones more apparent as she lost some weight. Here skin was pale as she hadn’t left the house in weeks and her hair was in a tangled mess.

  
She was sick of feeling so alone. So empty. Each breath she took was slow and heavy, as if she had to force herself to breathe. The feeling of loneliness and emptiness was engulfing her. ‘ _First my dad and now mom’_ , she thought to herself.

  
She looked down at the deep gash in her wrist she made about an hour ago. She stared at the ugly red substance that was starting to clot around the wound. Yuzu blankly stared at it, remembering the exhilarating jolt she felt when the razor slid across her wrist.

  
For the first time in weeks she felt something. She wanted to feel it again and so she cut once more. Then again. Then another until her whole forearm was covered in red slashes. Blood was pouring out of her veins and dripping down into the sink. Yuzu sighed a breath of relief when suddenly she heard a familiar voice.

  
“ _Yuzu_ …?”

  
__________________________________

  
**Mei P.O.V**

  
Mei was on her way home from school. Though she was reluctant to leave her older sister alone at home she had to discuss some matters with her grandfather. She was making the arrangements to move to the Aihara estate (along with Yuzu of course) as her father had once again disappeared, this time to mourn his late wife’s death. Seeing as both Yuzu and Mei were under 18, they couldn’t live on their own.

  
Mei was still contemplating on how to confront Yuzu on her behaviour. Yuzu needed to know that she was not alone, that she still had Mei and herself to live for. She needed to know that she could accept and move on from both her parents’ death. Having lost her father already at an early age, Mei knew that losing her mother must’ve hit her pretty hard.

  
When she finally arrived she hurriedly made her way to her stepmother’s room. She wanted to check on Yuzu first before she started to make dinner. Mei knocked once before opening the door. Dread filled her when Yuzu was nowhere to be seen. She took a deep breath to calm herself, ‘ _Maybe she’s in the bathroom’_ , she hopefully thought.

  
This time, she didn’t even bother knocking as she opened the bathroom door. She sighed a breath of relief when she saw the blonde standing in front of the sink. But something was wrong. Her stomach dropped when she saw a bloody razor next to Yuzu.

  
“ _Yuzu_ …?”

  
__________________________________

  
**General P.O.V**

  
Yuzu’s eyes widened when she heard the familiar voice. She unconsciously clutched at her forearm. She had been caught red-handed (literally) and now she was frozen in place. Without thinking, she grabbed the razor once again to finish what she started.

  
Quick to react and realizing what Yuzu was up to, Mei dashed to stop Yuzu from inflicting another cut on herself. She grasped Yuzu’s bleeding wrist with one hand and grabbed the razor with the other. She didn’t care that the razor was digging into the palm of her hand, she just knew that she had to get the razor away from Yuzu.

  
After wrestling for a few seconds Mei succeeded in getting the sharp metal away from Yuzu.

  
“Give it back!”, Yuzu snarled like some wild animal.

  
Rage filled Mei, “What the HELL do you think you’re doing?!”

  
“Shut up! You wouldn’t understand…”, Yuzu spat back.

  
Mei held both her hands, ”Then help me understand Yuzu!”

  
Yuzu tore her hands away from Mei and covered her face. “There’s no one… I have no one…”, she mumbled. “I don’t-don’t have anyone to live for! So there’s no point…”, she trailed off.

  
Mei grabbed Yuzu’s hands to look at her face. “What about me, Yuzu?! You still have ME!”, tears started to stain her face.

  
The blonde gaped at Mei wide eyed. “I need you”, Mei was now sobbing. “So please...don’t leave me… don’t leave..me”, she repeated over and over again in a pleading, almost desperate tone.

  
Yuzu stared as the raven haired girl broke down in front of her. Regret filled her and she realized that she wanted to live. She wanted to live on, if not for herself then for Mei. Gone was the feeling of loneliness and hopelessness.

  
Suddenly Mei felt a comfortable warmth. “I’m sorry”, she heard from the other girl. Mei’s hands tightened on Yuzu’s shirt and she leaned into the embrace.

  
They sat there for a while, just crying in each other’s shoulder. Mei was the first to finish, quickly wiping away her tears as she remembered Yuzu’s still bleeding arm. She grabbed a roll of bandages from the first-aid-kit and hurriedly wrapped it around Yuzu’s entire forearm. Yuzu hissed as Mei tightened it more than it needed to be. She glared at Yuzu as she did so, quietly murmuring, “ _You **idiot**.”._

  
Mei lifted her hand up and Yuzu shut her eyes, expecting the worst. However, she didn’t feel a sharp sting like she was expecting. Instead she felt a gentle hand caress her cheek.

  
“ _I’m sorry too…_ ”, Mei mumbled.

  
Yuzu stared at her with confusion and Mei spoke up again, “I’m sorry for _everything_. I’m sorry that I hurt you and...I’m sorry for being so selfish but… despite what I’ve done.. will you… will you still accept me? Not as your sister but…as something more-”, before she could finish Yuzu silenced her with a kiss.

  
When they broke their kiss Yuzu was the first to speak up. “There is _no one_ else that I would rather be with than _you_ , Mei. I love you and from today onwards I live, I breathe, I _exist_ solely for **you**.”, Yuzu said in her most confident voice.

  
Now, Mei was left speechless and a steaming, red mess as she blushed at Yuzu’s certainty and passionate declaration. All she was able to muster was an embarrassed, “... _I love you too_ …”.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Selfharm and suicide is NOTHING to EVER joke about. If you are suffering from depression please talk to someone.


End file.
